Nonsense, just nonsense

A post about anything...
Shoot. All this freedom is constricting. Well I've got to say it. I got nothin'. Thank goodness I write out my ideas for the prompt during the week or else I would have no I idea for the other post.
       
So I guess I'll write about what ever is going in my head. It will most likely not make any sense.

Usually this kind of thing is like way easy for me. Writers block is so so evil. Usually through the week I get an idea and write it down in my Spiral bound notebook, (I Hate composition notebooks. One of my pet peeves.) with a gleefully mischievous happiness. Joyfully scribbling away.

But this week my ideas have skipped out on me. or the wire in my brain has a short. (Mentally kicking myself)

Sorry guys, this ain't the week for any earth shattering writing.
Hopefully the writers block will have lifted for next week.

    

Don't think about it

Uuuugggg.... It's some time in the morning, and my mind is still ticking. 

I don't want to think about you.

Your like a spreading disease. Your wiggling into every thought.

I'm NOT going to think about you.

I'm not thinking about you like the right shoe thinks about the left shoe.

(Sigh...) No no no. Not thinking about you.

Think think think...

Think about home, think about sleeping, think about... about

Ooooh! I Refuse to think about you!

Your like my shadow, always there in the background 

Why? 

You've burned everything around you! 

All that is left is ashes and you.

If you want to burn something else so badly

go set yourself on fire.

But don't make me think about you.

Terrify me

The one thing we all got in common

I'm afraid, your afraid.

That thing that makes your body Numb

Yet sets every nerve is on fire

         hairs are standing up on end

Breathing shallow, shaking with each intake of new air.

Heart is fluttering about trying to escape its bony cage.

Goosebumps creep everywhere, chill edging into you soul.

You can try to deny it. Or hide it.

But it will just sit there like a dead weight on you.

Me? Yeah, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of ignored. 

Who's that person? Forever and always.

I have a NAME!

Saying the wrong thing.

People remember that more than your brilliant and witty remarks

Is it just me? Am I paranoid?

I'm afraid of dreams.

Your Falling

                        falling

                                 falling...

                                          You try and wake up before you hit the ground. But you just hit it

anyways. 

I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and be five again, and this life was a lie and a fake. 

(It was all just a dream.)

I'm Afraid someone is always Watching (Looking) Seeing (Examining) me.

I'm not some interesting play thing!

   

I'm afraid of being wrong 

that angel wings I thought I had

Were really demonic ones instead.

I'm afraid of losing my parents, of losing

My family.

I'm afraid I won't care if I did lose them.

I'm afraid I'm the monster I've been afraid of.

I'm afraid that my heart that beats is frozen solid 

That maybe it never was beating in the first place.

That everything I feel is something made up by others

And that I'm imagining it cause I have no heart. 

I'm afraid of being not good enough

To others 

But mostly Not good enough for my self.

I'm afraid that I'm not going to see the light

And be alone in the suffocating darkness

Forever...

We're all afraid of each other, ourselves

Things, ideas

But at least we all can comfort each other 

Because we all have something in common...

Shoulder angels

Ok, have any of you guys seen The Emperors New Groove? Well I hope you have because this post will make a lot more sense if you have.
One of my favorite parts is Kronk and his shoulder angels. (Seriously, it is so funny. Best part in my opinion.)
Well have to admit it guys, I also have shoulder angels too.
{Guys right as I wrote this down I could hear the creepy video that Mr. Nelson showed us replaying in my head, and it was at the part "... Listen to the voices inside your brain...". [Shudder] I hope i'm not crazy.}

Well on that note let me introduce my shoulder angels.

My good Angel *(Angel) is okay, what I mean is that I listen to him and a pretty great guy. He's quite the dry humored   fellow.  He's always serious. As well patient and kind. (Well he's suppose to be!) He's pretty darn witty and often is not into taking risks.
*(For the sake of all you guys, I'll call him Angel and her Imp, I never had a name for him or her cause I always referred to them as He or She. That kind of gets confusing in writing.)

Now my little devil angel (Imp) is, I have to confess is way more entertaining. Just to listen to! Not to actually do what she says. (Yes its a she. And it's not a statement about anything. She has always come across as a girl.)
She is freaking hilarious. Theatrical, dramatic and extremely sarcastic.
Also Adventurous, impatient, and very lazy. (Let's just say, if there's a way to avoid work, she'll do it.)
She is a handful. (Not to mention an earful. She also talks non-stop.)
She's kind-of like a big, giant, Great Dane puppy. Still figuring out how to use her legs.
And I guess Angel is more like a small older dog, very fluffy too. Since we're on a dog comparison.

Now these two talk to me all the time, commenting or giving advise.
I mean just when writing this they were giving commentary on stuff.

Like Imp over here [Pointing to my left shoulder.] was saying that I needed to add that she was totally awesome and is smokin' hot. And that Angel is sooo boring. He's like a old, dried up bagel that somebody forgot in the corner. No sense of fun. And that the dog description was totally off. She says he's more like an wrinkly, old, fat, bug-eyed Chihuahua.                         

And Angel over here [Pointing to my right shoulder] says that my description of Imp was right on the mark... possibly inserting Drama Queen instead of dramatic would of been a superior choice of words, though. And that He hadn't thought Imp like a puppy, but it was surprisingly accurate. She does run around, getting tangled in objects in her way, and sticks her nose in unpleasant things because she too childish to know any better. {Imp's adamantly denying that she is "Childish".}
(Oh forgot to tell you that Angel is quite proper and a bit stuffy. Beware of long words.)

Now my question for all you guys is, Do you have shoulder angels? I would love to hear about them.

Well this is the end of the post. But you'll probably hear more from my shoulder angels pretty soon. 
 

Advise to myself

I was thinking to myself what if I could go back?

Travel back in time with the knowledge I now possess... 

No, that would change everything.

I kind of like what I've accomplished learning the hard way

I think I would rather be able to talk to myself. 

A phone call to the past 

like that movie called Frequency

I don't want to cheat myself of experiencing 

the happy accidents and the frustrating defeats 

So here's my advise to my past self 

Love the age your at! Keep playing with your imaginary friends

and do stuff that for your age. You'll get older and lose that as you get grow so enjoy it now.

But don't worry, new fun things will come around as you mature.

Look to the future, but don't let it keep you from the present

And don't Romanticize the past and forgo tomorrow, wishing to stay forever in one spot.

(Fun and good but It really wasn't that amazing.)  

Don't eat all those Oreo's in Disneyland!

Trust me it a horrible night if you do.   

Keep thinking of those stories you wish to write

You'll have so much fun if you do.

Keep being in those worlds that are in your head

But be careful to still live in the one your in.

Don't worry about your older siblings, 

they get nicer and become some of your best friends

and listen to their advise only half of the time.

Don't get so down on your self about not being good at something

But still get annoyed with it, cause it will make you work 

harder to get better. 

And you will! Trust me I know!  

When mom or dad tells you to do something

Do it with a smile on your face! 

Live becomes soooooo much

easier when you learn that your going to have to do it anyway,

but you can do it with a good attitude.

(Yes dad was right all those times. Choose to have a good attitude.)

Read your scriptures! DO IT NOW! 

it really does help.

My last piece of counsel to myself is

Give more hugs and kisses

Embrace a little longer, give additional smiles

Laugh longer, listen better

    

        

Oxymoron love

What is this thing called... Love? 

Some tell me its is soft and fluffy like a cloud

But others tell me it will just let you down, because its just a bunch of water molecules.

Some argue that love is what moves the world

Other say is money and power that makes the world go round

So what is Love?

I think Love is an Oxymoron

Love gives you tender kisses as it sticks a knife in you chest 

and gives it a few twists for good measure.

Love is that creeping spider, when your not looking for it, 

It decides to try and slink into your life. When you finally spot it,

some scramble for the highest ground, voice jumping a few octaves higher 

as they scream

"KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

while others find it strangely magnificent and majestic, 

and they don't mind it sliding into their life. 

Love is quiet, but if you ignore it,

It'll blow your eardrums out with its shout

and break every bone you've got

'Cuz buddy 

Love's got anger issues.

Love is shallow and Love is deep.

You can lightly skim its crystal blue waters.

Or fall head first into it's black, pressure cooking fissure.

it will pull you into one or the other,

heck, maybe it will suck you into both

Love has the recollection of a Elephant

and the memory of a goldfish. (Three second long.)

It keeps bring back the painful things you wish you didn't know

But lets you forget the all little mistakes you've made.

So what is Love?

I don't know

Maybe it is a cloud

Its whipped creaminess can let you down

Maybe Love moves the world 

And money and power too

(its just the love of different things.)

  is it too hard to have to ask Love to be one thing?

So what is Love?

Love changes it mood like swing. 

You try and pin it down, label it, define it.

But it'll flutter away as soon as you think you got a grip on it.

So I think Love is an Oxymoron.
But Love doesn't care. 

   

  

I dare!

I dare you to stare at this for an hour, while listening to Yellow Submarine by the Beetles. 

Something about people in general, from the perspective of someone who's feeling very anti-social

People. Humans.

I got only one word for ya.

Stupid.

Yeah it's harsh, but it's the truth.

It would of been funny ending this post, not explaining myself. But I thought better of it. Too many people who would be like "Wha?" or "You're a mean jerk, saying people are stupid. People aren't all stupid..." and they would try to change my closed mindedness.

So here I am writing way longer than I wanted to.

People are stupid for some unknown reason to me. ... Wait. I got it. 

I have the reason.

THEY GET IN MY WAY! (Figurative and literally)

In traffic, in the halls. I hate it when your trying to get to class and as usual its jam packed people. And there's always that knot of people right in the middle, talking and being like that stupid road construction that all over the place here. So there's that one tiny little spot, where you could squeeze through, (most of the time its next to a wall.) to get to where your class is. You have someone in front of you walking toward that opening. Then they stop right in front of the opening and start talking to someone. (WHY????!?!? WHY COULDN'T YOU BE BEHIND ME?!?!)

So your stuck between two chatty Cathys, unless you wanna mow over them. Which is soooo temping some times.

Or your sitting by yourself and someone thinks your a poor friendless soul, so they come up to be nice.

I'll admit it's a nice gesture, and some people want it, but did it cross your mind that maybe you (or I)  wanted to be alone?

So they continue to talk to you, cause you talked back, because you wanted to be polite, but they think it's because you want to talk to someone.

Once again politeness keeps you from getting things done. It's so overrated.

But I see the problems with having guillotine-like bluntness. Now people may get in my way, but is a necessary evil to endure. (Ok, sometimes they aren't so annoying.) but the effects of hanging out with other human beings is helpful. If I avoid people too much I might end up one of those: Future Cat People of America. [It can happen to you too. If you agree with this, and feel like only animals (namely cats) understand you. PLEASE! GET HELP! NOW!!] 

Other people are needed to keep others sane. (With they're insanity. Makes no sense to me. Does it to you?) 

So I'll be nice and polite, unless you corner me, annoy me or invade my space bubble, then I will be oh, so brutally blunt. And/or maybe I'll claw your face off. (Figuratively or possibly literally.)

For those who are shocked, or don't understand a word I am writing. Yes I'll tolerate you. But don't ask questions. It's annoying. I've already explained more than I wanted to, purely out of politeness. 

For those who understand or kind of understand. 

Thanks for understanding. You're Awesome.

(Short, Sweet, To the Point. My time is valuable to me. I assume its valuable to you too.)

So, this post just let you know, I'm a pretty selfish person. Egotistical too. But I'm just stating out loud some of those things everybody thinks. (Unless you are the perfect person, and never think this.) To be selfish is to, well be human. Some of us are just better at it. (You can go cry about it on your own time.) 

And I guess... grrr... out of my duty to politeness (a very demanding thing it is.) I'll let you know, that I don't always feel this way about people. It's just every other day.

 Or every other hour.