Rock in my shoe

There a rock in my shoe, and it's bugging me.

I should reach down and try and get the rock out. 

Pull off my shoe and dump it on the ground.

But I don't

It makes me think of you, 

You little rock in my shoe,

and I don't want you to go away just quite yet.

PB&H

Stands for Peanut Butter and Honey. Sorry all your Jelly fans. I guess you can convert these direct orders over to your horribly disgusting Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. (I am NOT a fan of jelly.)

Direct orders to make a PB&H

Step 1: Collect Peanut butter and bread of your choice. Grab the Honey too. (Or {Shiver} jelly)

Step 2: Set two pieces of bread side by side so they are flat. (Yes somebody thought they were smart and put them long ways in a tepee set up so they were 'technically' side by side.)

Step 3: Put peanut butter on one of the slices of bread. Put how ever much you want.

Step 4: This step differs for everyone. If you like the more peanut buttery taste put the honey on the same side as the peanut butter. If you like more presents of the honey flavor (like me) you put the honey on the other piece of bread, the one without the peanut butter on it. Put how ever much honey you want. (Switch honey for jelly all you uncultured people who eat jelly.)

Step 5: Put the peanut butter smothered slice on top of the honey cover slice (honey tends to run more than peanut butter.) please put the peanut butter and the honey facing each other when you put them together. (Once again someone thought they were smart and put them opposite, so that the honey and peanut butter were facing outside, instead on the inside like your suppose to.)

Step 6: Eat the wonderful creation (Except if its jelly... >:) ) How ever you eat it, daintily or just shoving into that hole in your face, just enjoy. This is a direct order.         

Kleptomania for hearts

I smile at you, or at least my face does. The muscles pulling and twisting to put up the charming mask. 

You don't notice

You give me a quick embrace. Your so warm and full of life, and I, I'm so deathly, gravely cold. We pull apart. I look into your eyes, your chocolate brown ones. You look back into my deep and icy black ones.

Who knew the endless abyss was so shallow?

You don't or refuse to see that, unlike those twinkling brown eyes of yours, mine have no depth, no spark, no anything, just flat and dead. Black holes that suck in any light that is foolish enough to wander to close. And you were a fool. I'll crush that light in your eyes and let it dribble through my fingers. 

How could you not see? Ha, that's easy. 

I could of spiked you drink, to befuddle you mine and silence your senses. But I don't need anything that primitive as drugs. I have something much more powerful than any drug.

My words, oh so well rehearsed, paint over your retinas and make me the most beautiful human being, instead of the ravenous monster I am. My kiss chains you to me and you cannot, will not run away. 

You think I love you, so you love me. That's why you don't run away. That's why I can steal your heart away. I can just start pulling out your heart, and you'll just sit there and smile at me. And I'll smile right back, busy at work. It's when I'm finished, that your smile fades and you start to cry. "You broke my heart." Broke it? No, my dear friend, I didn't break it. I took it, I took all of you heart, for myself.

I don't need you anymore, now that I have what I wanted, so I ignore your calls and leave you curled up on the ground to cry your soul out, since your can't cry your heart out any more.

I admit your heart is beautiful as all hearts are. Every time I see your heart in its place of honor, on a glass pedestal in my house, it makes me wonder what it feels like... to have a heart, beating in your chest. Of course its a silly and absurd notion.        

What can you do with a ... Brick?

A strange topic for a school post... but...

Uses for a Brick

Uses for a Brick... hmm... well of course you can build a house, if you got mortar. Not going into a house that's not glued together.
And bricks are oh so famous (or infamous) for being choice weapons in like a billion TV and Movie shows.
Whether it's using them for a substitute baseball bat or using it to let people take really really long swims, bricks are always strolling up and down the red carpet in Hollywood.

I guess they could be used for last resort cannonball. As long as the target isn't far... maybe if is spins end over end it will fly longer. This could be something for the Myth busters to solve.
I bet some homeless guy has a brick for his best friend? (I'm kind of reaching there.)

And if the brick has holes it could candles...flowers... dynamite... lets just say it can hold a lot of things upright in those holes.

Bricks are great for breaking the law! Like lobbing them at windows (Not recommended.) or hey how 'bout throwing them of the empire state building! That would make a pretty sweet craters in the cermet.

Bricks can be used for plastic surgery (whether voluntary or not.). They can be used for dentistry too. It won't be too accurate, though.
   

Procrastinators unite... Tomorrow!

I'll do it tomorrow,

not today

Is something we all kind of say

I've got other things to do 

than to slave my time away

doing something I can do

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Ha ha, is something that is given in promises

like pennies are left in the streets.

Tomorrow

I'm sorry you just can't guarantee  

The only thing you can 

is that if you keep on saying 

Tomorrow

There's going to be a whole lot of 

What happened to yesterdays.

Best Costume ever.

Wish I could have this around town, or on Halloween. Dang I could scare a lot of people.

Letter

Just to let you know, so you guys don’t get confused. This post is about if I could mail myself a letter, after I died, to my past self. So… with that outta’ the way

Let the befuddlement begin! 

 Dear me,

Hey, it’s me or I guess you. Yeah, it’s kind of confusing. Well it gets a little weirder. I’m or you are dead right now in the future.

Yeah… this isn’t a joke. Or a prank. Yeah you die in the future. Not like that’s a surprise, I mean, your mortal and everything…

Yes, totally know what you’re thinking right now. “Wha-? How? How did I die?”

            … This is kind of awkward. 

We died rather… well… it was… really … anticlimactic. Um… I… or rather you in four years, seven months, sixteen days, fifty-three minutes, forty-one seconds will die.

… Don’t rush me about how we died! It’s … so… embarrassing.

Well I guess I can’t beat around the bush forever… Ok. This is how we died.

One that fine, yet horrid day, we (Or I guess I… I mean I was the one who experienced it… this is so confusing.) I when down to Wal-Mart to buy some Advil, I had a splitting headache, and I marched up and got that Advil and unbeknownst to me somebody had ripped a hole in there ice bag and the ice had fallen out and melted on the floor.

Now back to me, I was rushing to the check out isle.

In those few fateful steps to the check out counter… I slipped… on the ice… and well… I fell a backwards and hit the back of my head.

And died.

 Right there, in Wal-Mart, I died because I spilt my head open by slipping on some stupid melted ice!! Give’s a splitting headache a new meaning.

Yeah slipped, died and was floating above my body as people freaked out and screamed for doctors and called 911, that whole nine years.

The only nice thing was that our parents sued Wal-Mart, won and are now millionaires.

When to the pearly gates way to fast, Oh! No, no We didn’t make it to the pearly gates its just the expression. No, it was that accident in sixth grade that kept us out. You know with all the casualties… but it’s not too bad down here, I mean it’s a prison, and it’s a bit stuffy and hot here down in the eternal barbecue,  But is not to bad, you get Cable down here. 

Oh, and I’m guessing your wondering how I’m getting this letter to you. Let’s just say I pulled a few strings and had some friends in high up places.

So with that huge, ugly story, here comes my advice.

Either you can work for a charity for a couple years or donate more than a thousand dollars to make up for the six grade fiasco or…

You can start robbing and breakin’ the law… that thing in six grade, man that really was a big no no in heaven.  They talked about it for weeks up in the clouds.

Oh and DON’T GO TWO WAL-MART IN FOUR YEARS, SEVEN MONTHS AND SIXTEEN DAYS!! And were some ice cleats or soccer cleats (Less likely to scratch up flooring.) for the rest of you life. And maybe we’ll avoid this mess all together.

                                                                                                                        Sincerely You